Promos By Hyphen: Brogue Kick To Wrestlemania XXVIII

Welcome back folks. Sorry for the delay, I was a little busy promoting a birthday show I had on the 21st. But now that my 29th birthday has come and gone, let’s get back to business. Sheamus is your 2012 Royal Rumble winner.

The Great White. Or as my friend Moose calls him, “an angry glass of milk’.

This was…unexpected.

The way I had it laid out, Chris Jericho (who was the runner-up) was supposed to win the Rumble. And by winning his first Rumble, this would allow Jericho to challenge CM Punk for his WWE Title at Wrestlemania XXVIII.

So now what?

I applaud WWE for going with the unpredictable. I had also heard rumors Randy Orton winning his second Rumble because it was in his hometown St. Louis.

But now this throws everything up in the air. CM Punk is still in an unresolved feud with Interim Raw GM John Laurinaitis. Although all signs point to him being fired by Triple H on tonight’s Raw SuperShow, I suspect HHH will do nothing. This will lead to Laurinaitis definitely screwing Punk out of his Title at the Elimination Chamber PPV in February, if not sooner.

Maybe the Jericho/Punk feud has been put on the backburner. The right build could help one of WWE’s weaker second quarter PPV’s.

Sheamus will choose which belt he wants to challenge for. As a SmackDown Superstar, it is assumed he’ll go for Daniel Bryan’s World Heavyweight Title (which he retained against Mark Henry & Big Show at the Rumble). With Henry injured again, I could see him and Big Show being taken out of the SmackDown Title picture for the time being.

If they pull a 180 and have Sheamus challenge Punk for his belt, that would be really interesting. While Bryan still bores me as far as carrying a feud, putting the ‘tweener Sheamus against the WWE’s hottest star could make for good drama. I always thought Sheamus did an excellent job during his feud with John Cena in 2009.

The Rumble match was much improved over 2011’s event. While WWE seems to shy away from having more than 8 Superstars in a ring at once now, the combatants that were in for any amount of time were impressive. Even the surprise entries like Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Booker T, Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler entertained.

The moment that had me excited was seeing the Road Dogg Jesse James in official WWE action for the first time in years. When I started watching WWE in 1998, Road Dogg was easily my favorite member of D-Generation X. Seeing him do his thing in an official capacity even for a few moments was great.

And Chris Jericho finally decided we were worthy of his presence. After weeks of saying nothing and pulling off one of the better heel turns in recent memory, he entered the ring at #29 and took Sheamus to the wire. Showing absolutely no signs of ring rust, the Walls of Jericho and a Code Breaker still weren’t enough to put the Great White down for the count. Of course, it never helps to be standing outside the ropes when a Brogue Kick comes your way.

Randy Orton also looked sharp as ever despite his time off from a back injury. His feud with Wade Barrett has me really looking forward to the moment they get in the ring against each other again.

In other matches, The Divas of Doom (Beth Phoenix & Natalya) and the Bella Twins defeated Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, and Tamina.

Brodus Clay squashed Drew McIntyre. I’m really enjoying Clay’s Funkasaurus angle. It’s silly but the fact he’s running up the ranks looks good. I would imagine Great Khali, Mason Storm, or Ezekial Jackson would be a decent feud that would get him into more serious competition.

Punk retained in a great match with Ziggler that was overshadowed by John Laurinaitis’ actions as a special guest referee. He didn’t count when Punk nailed a clean GTS. He routinely tried to intimidate Punk and distracted him. And then he counted, with the unbiased ref he had brought to the ring with him, as Punk nailed a second GTS for the win. Moment of the match had to be when Ziggler nailed Punk with the Zig-Zag after being prone on Punk’s shoulders for a GTS. Punk kicked out but it looked great.

The fact Mark Henry got hurt and dropped his World Title has made me less and less interested in the Bryan/Show/Henry feud. Show has been great but I cannot stand Bryan. He has the charisma of one of these dirty tissues I keep producing from this cold. I don’t care for AJ Lee or him. His wrestling is good but that’s about it. And I really hate to see Show continue to lose World Title matches “by this much’. Hopefully a Sheamus/Bryan feud could get me caring again.

And John Cena and Kane fought to a no-contest. Zack Ryder got the crap knocked out of him again. Eve cried some more. Cena looked pissed.

The same thing has been happening for a month on Raw. I’m glad I didn’t pay for the same thing I can see on Raw every week.

The only way this angle could pay off is for my theory on this whole mess to happen:

Cena gets tired of getting destroyed by Kane and he embraces the hate. By embracing the hate, he becomes brainwashed into believing the jargon Kane’s been spewing. This leads to his “heel turn’ where he actually stops caring and starts destroying everything in his path. Eventually, The Rock will return. Words will be said, tag team matches will be held on Raw, all leading up to Wrestlemania. At Wrestlemania, during their epic year in the making match, Cena will break Kane’s hold over him; The Rock will probably put him over for the win. Cena will go back to being a face and a Rock/Cena rematch will be held at SummerSlam. With Cena finally settling the score with Kane at some point.

That’s how I would write it anyway.

In closing though, only one thing can be said about the 2012 Royal Rumble:

Kofi Kingston’s handstand was awesome.

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