At Least You Could Wish Me Luck

I woke up Monday and felt like I needed a social media break.

Instead, I turned on my camera and told everyone I could feel a bout of depression coming on.

Tuesday, I turned on the camera to say that I wanted the snow to be gone for the winter and that I was feeling better.

This morning, I turned on the camera to say that I was officially depressed. Family and friends have reached out and I reassured them it was just seasonal depression.

Dad challenged me to a Michael Jackson dance battle?

Did I make a mistake broadcasting to the world on 4 different social media platforms that I’m depressed? I don’t know. Was it a cry for help? I don’t think so. It was just a weird experiment to be able to look back and see the depression hit me in real time?

I don’t know.

My friend Tobias passed away suddenly last week. We used to write together back in my fanfiction days and stayed in contact ever since. A bunch of us who used to write together hopped on Skype Saturday night to a reunion in his honor. We’re going to try to make it a regular thing.

TC was a good dude.

I shot a video on Sunday. I shot a video on my lunch. The video from Sunday I couldn’t use because I was rapping without the music and I was rapping too fast. The video from today had some kind of weird rumbling in it, probably because I had just restarted my car and the phone was propped on my steering wheel. Plus, I was talking about music I like to listen to when I’m depressed.

It felt very exploitive.

I was going to cook after I picked up the Walmart order. But I didn’t and now I have no desire.

I think sleep is for the best.

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